There it
is, that little pink line on the stick you just peed on and in a moment you
life is changed forever. Instantly, images of the perfect family life flash
through your mind and your heart is filled with joy. You will spend the next
nine months planning to ensure that you have that perfect family life. You read
every book, browse through Pinterest, join every mommy friendly Facebook page,
you even start a blog to tell everyone how you’re going to have that perfect
life.
Then,
the unthinkable happens...you give birth to a bad sleeper.
The
curse of motherhood! Yup, it happened to me. My hubby and I were so excited to
have a baby and I naturally imagined a life of nothing but happiness. You know,
the kind where your child sleeps on command and is perfectly behaved. Needless
to say, reality is much different, especially when nighttime is involved.
I could
tell we were going to have sleeping issues during that first night in the
hospital. I had a pretty rough delivery and was extremely exhausted. Since I
had chosen to breastfeed, I thought it would be best for my son to stay with me
in the hospital room so that I could have easy access to him. I never knew how
much noise an infant could make! He didn’t cry or fuss, but he kept grunting
and groaning all night. None of us got much sleep, and I desperately needed it.
The next
few nights were not much better. We tried to start a nighttime routine and lay
him in the cute little bassinet that we purchased just for him and set by our
bed. The grunting and groaning continued keeping all three of us up at night.
Strangely enough, my son seemed to drift into a deep sleep just as the sun
peaked over the horizon. My grandmother laughed as she told me that the baby
simply ‘had his days and nights mixed up’ and he would settle into a new
schedule soon. When that didn’t happen she grimly stated that we were cursed
with a ‘bad sleeper’.
My son
did not want to be on his back. When we tried to lay him down on a flat
surface, he would either fuss or grunt. We then tried keeping him in a sitting
up position by trying to get him to sleep in his car seat, which is what our
doctor recommended. She also gave us medicine for infant heartburn to see if
that would soothe him. The medicine helped a little, but not much.
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| First shift! |
Things
were really taking a toll on me and my husband. We started a routine that I was
not happy with. He took the ‘first shift’, meaning he stayed up with baby while
I got a few hours of sleep, then we would change shifts around 2 am. He would
go to bed while I stayed up with baby.
This
went on for weeks. I was overtired and cranky. Motherhood was not sitting well
with me and I started to feel very depressed. One night when the baby simply
would not stop crying no matter how much boob I gave him, I woke up the hubby
in tears and said, “I can’t do it tonight. I’m so tired!” My husband graciously
took over for the night (what a saint!).
We
visited a friend who had a baby a few weeks older than my son, and she showed
us her baby’s Montessori style nursery and told us how she co-sleeps with her
children for the first nine months of their life. I never really considered
co-sleeping because I had read how potentially dangerous it was. My friend then
gave me some advice that I will never forget. “Just remember that there is no
right or wrong when it comes to parenting. Do what is right for you and your
baby.”
It was
difficult for me to rummage through all of the articles on getting a baby to
sleep through the night, and people seem to be very passionate about their
approaches. Almost to the point of getting angry or judgmental. I had seen
Facebook threads full of cry-it-out versus non-crying methods of sleep
training. I couldn’t seem to make sense of it all. I simply wanted my child to
sleep at night in his crib while I slept in my own bed with my husband. Was
that too much to ask?
Six
weeks after my son was born, we were still doing that hideous night time
routine. Hubby taking the first shift and me taking the second. One night, I
simply had enough. My son, was still grunting and groaning in his little car
seat. I picked him up, breastfed him for a few minutes, then I laid down on the
sofa with him belly down on my chest. He slept for 4 hours straight and it was
the best night sleep I had had since he was born!
I did the
same thing the next night, and then the next. We were finally getting some
sleep! I then remembered what my friend told me about co-sleeping with her
babies, and I figured that maybe it would work for us. One night, I took my
baby to bed with me. I laid down on my back and placed him belly down on my
chest. He slept soundly and only woke up a few times for his regular feedings.
My son
loved to be cuddled and he also loved to sleep on his tummy. Now, I could have
tried to lay him belly down in his crib to see if I could transition him that
way, but I have a friend who lost a son to SIDS, and I could not bring myself
to leave my son alone in a crib while laying face down. We stuck with
co-sleeping where I could keep an eye on him. Yes, it took a little getting used to since I had to sleep more on my back, but adjust I did!
I fully
understand that co-sleeping is very controversial and that there will be a
number of mothers shaking their heads at me, but I don’t care. Co-sleeping
saved my sanity and my baby is a sweet and healthy child. He can sometimes be a
little restless at night, but I still treasure the moments when he cuddles up
into my arms.
I am not
saying that everyone should co-sleep with their child. If my husband and I are
blessed with another child I will still break out that beautiful bassinet and
try that route first. I am just saying that if you are cursed with a ‘bad
sleeper’, you may want to give it a try. Just make sure you do it safely.
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| The hubby snuck a pic at night... |
